Emotional Regulation vs. Emotional Suppression

The concept

Regulation means influencing which emotions we have, when, and how we express them. Suppression means hiding the outward expression while the feeling continues inside.

Explanation

Research on emotion regulation suggests that habitually suppressing emotional expression tends to be more effortful and less helpful over time than strategies like reappraisal — reconsidering what a situation means. Regulation allows the feeling to be noticed and named before choosing a response.

Who this is for

Useful for adults, and for parents teaching children that all feelings are allowed while not all behaviors are.

In real life

• Smiling through a meeting while fuming inside (suppression).
• Noticing frustration, taking a breath, and naming it before responding (regulation).

Try this

• Name the feeling to yourself: “I’m frustrated.”
• Ask what else the situation could mean.
• Choose a response that fits your values.

References

• Butler, E. A., Egloff, B., Wilhelm, F. H., Smith, N. C., Erickson, E. A., & Gross, J. J. (2003). The social consequences of expressive suppression. Emotion, 3(1), 48–67.
• Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299.
• Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(2), 348–362.
• Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.